Grit

Recently, my sister-in-love and best friend of over 20 years asked me to create a short, casual video for her class about grit. She is a middle school English teacher and likes to keep the assignments interesting. She normally has her students ask their friends and adults in their lives for examples, but this year she decided to ask some of her people, as well. I was honored to make the cut, but also a little nervous – what would I say to this group of preteens that might actually keep their attention?

Grit isn’t a word or characteristic that I think about often, like focus, drive, motivation, or persistence. In fact, my brain immediately began craving breakfast (grits – for those of you who do not live in the South). But grit is so strong and powerful, encompassing each and all of those, plus a little something extra. Grit pushes you through when it gets hard, when your goal seems to be just out of reach. 

In the process of figuring out what I might say, I got lost in my memories, searching for my own Rocky Balboa story to share. Though sometimes I feel stuck, or bored, or “not enough,” I actually found an arsenal of accomplishments to choose from. I had forgotten how hard I worked to get to where I am today. In my mind, graduating college, scoring my first job, getting married, and buying a house were reduced to life’s mundane inevitabilities. But, I jumped a series of hurdles to reach each of these goals. Becoming a “real adult” took grit. HA! Many years of mini-goals summed up in a few short phrases. Each of those accomplishments had moments that I questioned myself, my abilities, my why. Then, each accomplishment led to the next. 

I also thought about discussing the grit I see in my kids. They inspire me daily. Learning to swim, learning to read, potty training, riding a bike. In the beginning, these are all hard things. We have to be brave enough to be bad at something in order to learn something new. 

When my oldest was three years old, he learned to swim. I took him to a local water park to celebrate – just me and him. He was having a great time in the kids’ area, but kept eyeing “the green slide” he could see from afar. He could not resist the collosal tunnels and turns. Over 36in, he was tall enough to ride with an adult. We talked through it and he was ready to give it a try! We climbed what seemed like endless stairs. His excitement was palpable – and contagious. 

Then, when we finally reached the top,  he peered over the rail, scanned the park below, and suddenly realized how high we actually were. His face immediately transformed. His smile turned to tears and he was so scared he couldn’t even bring himself to get in the float. It was a calm family ride that he and I could do together. He was screaming and shaking, and we were up there for probably ten minutes. I almost let us walk back down all those damned stairs and go back to his comfort zone, but I talked him into sitting in the tube and just closing his eyes while I held his hand. We made it down. He absolutely loved it. 

We climbed those stairs and slid through those tubes countless times again that day with the biggest smiles. Not just because it was fun, but because he was proud of himself. This experience of fighting through his fears pushed him through many challenges in the coming years. Was this grit at three years old?

Sometimes we will grow frustrated, or scared, or tired (often right before the fun part). But when that happens, we have to learn to rest, not to quit. We start off on the right track then get derailed for whatever reason. And that is ok. We have to get back up and keep going. It will be worth it. We can do hard things. 

I ended up recording a video about training for a half marathon. I didn’t go into detail in the video, but each day was a challenge. I constantly doubted if running 13.1 miles was even possible for me. Every time the mileage increased, I did not think I would be able to run the entire distance. But I did. It may not have been pretty, but I did it. And it is an accomplishment I’m still immensely proud of today, not because of how I placed in the race (I was in much better shape in my younger years), but because of how hard I pushed myself to even show up on race day.

Starting a business is hard. Growing a business is hard. I hope you have someone to help push you forward – especially when you have to just close your eyes and pray for the best. Grit to great.